30-Day Challenge/course to Quit Porn For Good

How to Quit Porn: Intro, Goals, and Rules.

Intro

Trying to figure out how to quit porn? You’ve come to the right place. This challenge/course will guide you over the next 30 days, helping you quit porn for good.

Each day, you’ll receive a scientifically backed challenge aimed at helping you stop watching porn.

This journey starts by addressing surface-level issues and gradually delves into the root causes of your addiction, all supported by the latest science and science-related tools.

What to Expect?

Rules

Day 0: Accountability Group.

Theory

Let’s dive into these studies:

1. A study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology showed that those in a weight loss program with an accountability group lost 37.33% more weight compared to those without such support.
   
   Moreover, they were better at maintaining their weight loss over time.

2. Another study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that people who had friends or family members attempting to quit smoking were more likely to stick with their quit attempts.
   
   They were also less likely to relapse.
   
   The study found that people who had a social support network were 2.5 times more likely to quit smoking successfully than those who did not have a social support network.

3. A study focused on academic performance and accountability groups found that participants achieved better grades and had higher coursework completion rates than those who went it alone.

In the quest for solutions on ‘how to quit porn,’ I’ve discovered that research highlights the significant effectiveness of collaborative challenges over going solo.

Here’s why:

1. Accountability: Sharing responsibility helps you stay on course.
2. Motivation: Encouragement fuels your efforts.
3. Support: Emotional and practical help eases the journey.
4. Competition: Healthy rivalry can drive you to excel.
5. Shared Goals: A common purpose unites efforts for success.

Task

Invite someone to join this challenge, be it a friend or a stranger, and connect on a messaging platform of your choice, like creating a WhatsApp group.

When you complete the day’s task, make sure to send a message to the group.

You can share your experience in detail or simply text something like “Completed day 5.”

If finding a friend to take on this challenge is difficult, you can post on Reddit, inviting random strangers to join you.

You can then connect with them on a platform like WhatsApp.

Many subreddits are dedicated to addiction and quitting porn or masturbation, such as:

1. r/quitporn
2. r/nofap
3. r/pornfree
4. r/self-improvement
5. r/addiction

Here’s an example post:

Title: Seeking a companion for the TACTICS+ 30-Day Quit Porn Challenge

Hey everyone! I'm taking on the TACTICS+ Quit Porn Challenge and I'm looking for a partner to join me on this journey.

Today marks the beginning, and for day zero, the challenge is to find a companion to start it together. 

We have two options: either sign up for the daily email challenge (paid, 2$), where tasks will arrive in your inbox each day, or simply open the article daily to view the task.

For the email option, it's recommended to join at the same time to receive tasks simultaneously, unless different time zones make this challenging.

Throughout the challenge, we'll stay connected via platforms like WhatsApp or other online channels.

If you want to be part of this journey, drop a comment or send me a DM. Let's do this together! 💪

Make a choice: tasks Through Email?

Day 1: Identifying External Triggers

Theory

A trigger is something that causes a strong craving for the behavior you’re addicted to, like watching porn or masturbating.

Triggers can be categorized into two types, external and internal.

• External triggers: These are factors in your environment that lead to cravings for porn. For example, stumbling upon an extremely attractive video or photo of a woman while browsing the web (sometimes it’s hard to believe she actually exists, maybe it’s made using AI).
  
  
• Internal triggers: Thoughts or emotions that can draw you back to watching porn. Common examples include stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, anger, and even positive emotions like happiness or celebration.

For today, we’ll focus on identifying our external triggers.

External triggers can be people, places, things, habits, or even specific times of the day that your brain has associated with watching porn due to long-term exposure and conditioning.

When you encounter an external trigger, it activates your brain’s reward system and intensifies your craving for porn because your brain has learned to associate that trigger with the pleasurable effects of pornography.

It could be the time before bed, scrolling through Instagram at night, or exploring YouTube’s trending page that triggers your cravings. Discovering and understanding your triggers is a crucial step in learning how to quit porn effectively.

Task

Identify external triggers that make you want to watch porn. Write down each trigger and what actions or behaviors lead to it.

For instance, don’t just say “a music video with attractive women,” but also mention what brought you to that trigger, like “browsing YouTube’s trending page.”

It’s also helpful to note the time of day most associated with watching porn or masturbating and situations that might increase the likelihood of relapse, such as getting high.

List at least five external triggers. You can share them with your companions on your chosen messaging platform if you’d like.

Day 2: Blocking External Triggers

Theory

Blocking external triggers significantly reduces the risk of relapse. Several studies back this.

You’ve already identified your triggers. For now, let’s focus on making it easier to avoid porn. Later, we’ll explore the root causes and use techniques like cue exposure therapy (CET).

Task

Create a plan to eliminate or block each external trigger you’ve identified, one by one. Here are some examples:

1. Rearrange your room layout to break the association with watching porn.
   
2. Adjust your daily routine by using your PC earlier in the day and reading a book at night.
   
3. On Instagram, unfollow accounts that post arousing images and select “see fewer posts like this” for unrealistic images. Keep doing this until it shows no such content, or consider deactivating your Instagram account for this challenge.
   
4. Apply similar steps on other social media apps, including YouTube.
   
5. On YouTube, use your PC to hide the recommendation page, trending page, shorts page, and suggested videos using the “Unhook” extension. I’d also recommend you unsubscribe to Ariana Grande for the duration of this challenge.

Devise creative strategies to block these external triggers, as you know your triggers best.

Day 3: Identifying Internal Triggers

Theory

We already know what internal triggers are by now. These tend to be more responsible for relapses.

So, it’s essential to identify them if you want to quit porn successfully. The most common internal triggers include:

1. Boredom: When there’s nothing exciting to do, people may turn to pornography for fun or excitement.
   
2. Stress: Stress can lead to a desire for a coping mechanism, and some people resort to porn as a quick escape from stress or anxiety.
   
   A study found that dealing with negative emotional states was the top reason for relapse.

3. Anger: When someone gets mad, they might crave porn as a way to distract themselves or find comfort.

Task

Your task for today is to identify your internal triggers. This exercise is pivotal in showing you how to quit porn successfully, as heightened awareness and comprehension of these triggers can significantly diminish their impact.

You need to write about these triggers in detail, and you can use the following format if you wish:

1. Define the internal triggers.
2. Explain why they occur.
3. Provide examples of the last time they manifested.

Day 4: Coping Mechanism I

Theory

We’ve blocked external triggers, but avoiding them entirely isn’t always possible. They may return, and we must be ready.

Plus, internal triggers can’t be stopped with a browser extension; they will come knocking.

For now, we’ll use the “3 to 1 count” and deep breathing as coping strategies.

In a study on smokers abstaining from smoking for four hours, deep breathing significantly reduced withdrawal symptoms, including cravings and negative emotions, while maintaining normal alertness.

Task

When faced with triggers today:

1. Count down from 3 to 1 and immediately distance yourself from the trigger (e.g., close the YouTube tab with a new Ariana Grande video thumbnail).
2. Use box breathing:
   • Close your eyes
   • Inhale deeply through your nose for four counts
   • Hold your breath for four counts
   • Exhale fully through your mouth for four counts
   • Hold your breath for four counts
   • Repeat twice

Day 5: Coping Mechanism II

Theory

According to a study, a short bout of physical activity reduces cravings significantly. We’ll use this finding to add another coping mechanism to our arsenal.

Task

When the urge to watch porn arises today, you will immediately engage in a short burst of physical activity after distancing yourself from the trigger.

Here’s how:

1. Count down from 3 to 1 and immediately distance yourself from the trigger.
2. Choose a physical activity:
   • Do as many push-ups as you can
   • Do as many pull-ups as you can
   • Spend a minute on any weight exercise
   • Do a minute of jumping jacks
   • Spend a minute on resistance band exercises
   • Devote a minute to squats
   • Take a brisk 15-minute walk

Day 6: Personal Reasons to Stop Watching Porn

Theory

The difference between people diagnosed with problematic porn use (PPU) and those without PPU is not in the amount of porn they watch, but in whether they report that it has a negative impact on their lives.

So don’t just ask, ‘How to quit porn?’ Ask, ‘Why quit porn?’ as well.

You’re here because you want to stop watching porn, driven by your personal belief that it’s negatively impacting your life.

For example, a long-term study of couples found that watching porn was the second most common sign of relationship problems.

Task

Write down your reasons for quitting porn for 15–20 minutes. Be specific and add examples as well.

Day 7: Understanding Dopamine

Theory

Dopamine is a key player in addiction. It’s a neurotransmitter that makes us feel good and motivated. But after a dopamine spike, comes a dopamine crash, a period of pain that makes you feel unmotivated.

This pleasure-pain cycle is an evolutionary mechanism that keeps us searching for dopamine-spiking things (like food, water, shelter, or porn).

But if we do the same thing over and over, like watching porn, our brains become less sensitive to the pleasure. This makes us want more and more to feel good, which can lead to addiction.

It’s crucial to understand this process if you want to stop watching porn.

Task

Understanding how to quit porn addiction involves recognizing the powerful role of dopamine, so you have to read this article as your homework today. Where I simplify the role of dopamine in our lives.

Read the first part of it, at least: “Top 5 Things You Need to Know About Dopamine.”

Try to completely understand the role of dopamine from the lens of a porn addiction.

Day 8: Meditation to Stop Watching Porn

Theory

Mindfulness training’s effectiveness in addiction recovery is well-supported by scientific research and clinical studies.

Many studies published in reputable journals have shown that mindfulness training can help people with addiction reduce their risk of relapse and improve their overall well-being.

For example, one study found that mindfulness training was even more effective than the Freedom from Smoking program (developed by the American Lung Association) in helping people quit smoking.

How does mindfulness help someone quit porn addiction?

1. Mindfulness training enhances your ability to recognize and be more conscious of the cues and triggers that might lead you to impulsively use pornography.
   
2. It teaches you how to manage unpleasant feelings and thoughts without immediately turning to pornography as a way to escape. This can help you improve your ability to cope with emotional discomfort.

Task

Start a mindfulness meditation routine. I recommend three apps:

1. Headspace
2. Waking Up
3. Balance

Headspace and Waking Up offer free trials, and Balance is free for a year.

Here’s a tip from me: Mindfulness training aims to help you observe your thoughts and feelings without trying to control them. Imagine you’re looking at yourself from a neutral perspective, like a third person. Don’t try to control anything; just watch.

If you catch yourself trying to control your thoughts and feelings, notice that you’re doing it, and then let go of that control.

When you’re asked to focus on something, it’s okay if other thoughts come up. Instead of worrying about not getting distracted, think of it as shifting your attention from one thing to another. Don’t judge yourself; it’s a simple shift in focus.

If you already meditate, try to do it regularly and take it seriously. It’s okay if you miss a day or two but aim for consistency.

To complete today’s task, meditate. Keep meditating throughout the challenge, even if you miss a day or two; that’s okay.

Day 9: How You View Women

Theory

We are systematically addressing the core of your porn addiction, progressing step by step to create lasting change.

We must decondition how you view women, as it’s a major problem and a part of the process of learning how to stop watching porn.

Fact: Men tend to be more visually oriented in their attraction than women, meaning they have a stronger interest in visual sexual stimuli. This is why men often watch porn, while women may prefer to read it.

Here are more things you should know about women, on average:

1. Women’s initial response to sexual requests may often be negative, whereas men might typically have a positive default response.
   
2. Research indicates that women generally place a greater emphasis on emotional connection and intimacy in sexual relationships compared to men. Many women report that feeling emotionally connected to their partner enhances their sexual satisfaction.
   
3. Studies suggest that women’s sexual fantasies tend to focus more on emotional and relational aspects, such as romance, intimacy, and feeling desired by a partner. Conversely, men’s sexual fantasies often revolve around visual and physical elements, such as multiple partners or specific sexual acts.
   
4. Men often view sex primarily as a physical activity, deriving pleasure from the physical sensations. In contrast, women often see sex as a way to support the relationship and foster emotional closeness.
   
5. Research has shown that women often desire and benefit from longer periods of foreplay compared to men. This is because women typically require more time to become aroused and reach a state of readiness for sexual activity.
   
6. Women frequently place a greater emphasis on emotional intimacy and connection during foreplay.

Task

Today’s task is to put yourself in women’s shoes, an empathy-building activity that lets you see the world from a woman’s perspective.

You’ll be reading an article called “The Confidence Gap” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. To finish the task, read the whole article slowly and thoughtfully, instead of rushing through it quickly.

Even if you don’t agree with what’s in the article, try to see the world from a woman’s point of view today. I often read and watch things I strongly disagree with to stay sharp, and you always learn something new now and then.

Day 10: The Dark Side of the Porn Industry

Theory

Porn shows us a fiction, an unrealistic version of sex. Helping someone stop watching porn involves making them aware of the other side of the porn industry, the dark side of it. That’s what we’ll go through today.

Task

Today, we have stories from former porn actors who now speak out against the industry. They share their experiences. Your task is to read at least one person’s story out of the five provided. Also, watch the accompanying video.

Bonus points for reading/watching more than one story. Here’s the article.

Day 11: Minimalism for Momentum

Theory

Congratulations on completing the first 10 days of this challenge! Take a moment to acknowledge your achievement. Now, let’s gauge your progress.

Progress can be challenging to measure because not everything in life can be quantified. While in activities like workouts, you can track improvements through reps, sets, or weights lifted, assessing progress in life changes requires more than counting the days you haven’t watched porn.

Today, we’ll practice minimalism. Minimalism involves intentional living and eliminating things that don’t add value to your life.

For instance, if you have three blue pens but only need one, minimalism suggests giving the extras to someone who can use them.

Minimalism is a lot bigger than this, even the subject of documentaries. I just use it as a fancy way to say “Clean your room”.

Task

Let’s use minimalism to declutter your room and create space. Ask yourself, what do you truly need?

Perhaps you have an excess of pens or books you’ll never read. Remove them and tidy up your room, including your cupboard and washroom. You could even consider rearranging your room layout.

Completing this exercise will bring a sense of accomplishment, though it may take some time. It symbolizes a new chapter in your life. Afterward, reward yourself with your favorite snack.

Day 12: Coping Mechanism III

Theory

In behavioral psychology, a common approach to changing unwanted behaviors is substitution. This strategy applies to dietary changes, addiction therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. We’ll use it to curb the urge to watch porn.

What makes for a good porn alternative? Something that provides an instant dopamine boost. However, remember the subsequent crash.

The crash will make you want a dopamine spike more, so we’ll only this strategy to distract your mind from porn. Like an emergency tool in your “How to quit porn” list.

Task

Similar to your earlier coping techniques, count from 3 to 1 immediately followed by distancing yourself from the cue/trigger.

Then, either use the box breathing technique or engage in any physical activity you prefer.

If the craving still isn’t gone, distract yourself with an activity that gives you a dopamine rush. Anything you find enjoyable, like playing games, watching TV, swimming, indulging in sweet treats, or even watching entertaining self-improvement videos on YouTube.

Day 13: Cue Exposure Therapy (CET)

Theory

This will take your journey to stop watching porn to the next level.

Cue Exposure Therapy (CET) is a behavioral treatment often used in clinical settings to address substance abuse problems.

This approach involves controlled exposure to cues or triggers associated with drug use in an environment where drugs are not available. The main goal of CET is to reduce the heightened reactions and cravings triggered by these cues, thus lowering the risk of relapse.

This study found a gradual decrease in craving when exposed to cues during six CET sessions.

CET is a form of exposure therapy, and we’ll use it today to help reduce your cravings and reactions to porn-related cues or triggers.

Task

You’ve already identified your internal and external triggers. Today, you’ll deliberately expose yourself to an external trigger in a very mild form. This means encountering your porn-related triggers while ensuring they are not too intense.

Each person’s “not strong” trigger is different. For example, you can search for “beautiful women” on Google Images (with safe mode turned on). Since “beautiful” is associated mainly with faces, it might be a suitable starting point for you.

Other examples include:

1. Reading romantic stories.
2. Watching a family-oriented romantic film (with no scenes that strongly trigger you).

Expose yourself to the cue for 5 minutes today. We’ll revisit CET later.

Day 14: Life-Changing Effects of Porn

Theory

The brain operates as a learning prediction machine. When you engage in watching porn, you are effectively rewiring your brain’s arousal patterns.

Instead of your own experiences and interactions being the primary source of arousal, you are conditioning your brain to become aroused by observing other people engaging in sexual activities.

This should be enough motivation for people searching “How to quit porn?” on a weekly basis. Just know this fact, and you’ll think 34 times before watching porn again.

You can see its effects already out there. The situation is growing increasingly worrisome as men confront disturbing challenges related to arousal and sexual performance, because of their consumption of pornography.

According to another study 58% percent of men who struggle with pornography report issues with erectile dysfunction (ED), delayed ejaculation (DE), or inability to reach orgasm (anorgasmia).

Here are some other troubling facts about the impact of porn on your brain:

1. Porn consumers are more likely to express an intent to commit sexual assault.
2. Porn consumers are less likely to intervene during a sexual assault.
3. Porn consumers are more likely to commit actual acts of sexual violence.
4. Porn consumers are more likely to support violence against women.

Task

The purpose of today’s challenge was to make you more aware of how porn is destroying your life, to make it more concrete. Getting your ‘whys’ straight is crucial if you want to stop watching porn.

I’ve provided you with essential information, but now I want you to delve deeper into the concept of neuroplasticity (rewiring of the brain) caused by watching porn. Watch this video from here for 10 minutes.

Day 15: Self-Belief for quitting porn

Theory

The way individuals perceive addiction, such as whether they believe “A person’s addiction can never fully leave them,” highlights the significant influence of mindset on addiction outcomes.

Some individuals hold faith in the possibility of change, while others view addiction as a permanent condition.

Notably, the analysis revealed that individuals with a more positive and growth-oriented mindset, as indicated by the β coefficients on the Addiction Mindset Scale (AMS), experienced substantial improvements in their approach to addiction.

For instance:

1. Those with a more positive mindset displayed a β coefficient of 0.17 for motivation to quit addiction, signifying a positive correlation.
   
   
2. Similarly, a β coefficient of 0.37 for commitment to quitting addiction demonstrated a strong positive link with self-belief.

These coefficients underscore the pivotal role that one’s beliefs and mindset play in addiction outcomes. They show how a hopeful and positive mindset can significantly impact addiction results, fostering motivation and empowerment during the journey to overcome addiction.

Task

You can’t trick your mind into self-belief, but you don’t need to. Our beliefs and personality adapt based on evidence from our life experiences.

Think about it this way: You wouldn’t expect to be confident in driving if you’ve never learned how to drive, right? Confidence and self-belief come from your brain gathering evidence that you can do something, and that evidence comes through practice.

However, sometimes people tend to give more weight to negative experiences than positive evidence. This can lead to a lack of confidence, even when they are competent.

You need to believe that you can learn how to quit porn.

Today, your task is to reflect on three past instances where you overcame challenges in your life. Write about each of them in detail.

Day 16: Reframe Porn Addiction

Theory

We’re gradually addressing the root of your porn addiction, step by step.

It’s important to understand that you’re not just trying to quit porn; you’re trying to create a better life for yourself. Porn is merely a symptom of a life you’d like to improve.

It’s crucial to reframe how you perceive this issue. While we’ve tackled surface-level problems, true change happens when you address the underlying cause.

Do you ask, ‘Why am I unhappy?’ when your life is chaotic? Recognize that the ‘happiness problem’ diminishes as you begin to improve your life and work toward a goal. Apply a similar mindset when asking, ‘How to quit porn?

In the upcoming days, we’ll delve deeper into topics like vision, counter-vision, goals, motivation, anxiety, and overall life improvement.

We’re shifting our focus from the specific problem of “quitting porn addiction” to the broader context and the bigger picture.

Task

Tomorrow, we’ll engage in a comprehensive future-authoring exercise. Today, take some time to reflect on your life. Consider why you started watching porn in the first place, and whether there’s something you’re not accepting.

Close your eyes and ask yourself, “What are you resisting?” Allow yourself to receive an answer, just as you do in meditation.

Don’t try to control the response; simply let it flow. Spend 10–15 minutes contemplating the things that come to mind. You don’t need to write anything down at this point.

Day 17: Positive Vision

Theory

Today’s exercises draw inspiration from psychologist Jordan Peterson’s Future Authoring program, which is designed to help individuals plan their lives comprehensively. This program has proven effective in giving people a sense of purpose, and direction, and reducing anxiety about the future.

While you can explore the full program later if you wish, for now, we’ll adapt a version inspired by it.

Today, you’ll engage in the future authoring exercise. Tomorrow, we’ll delve into the negative vision exercise, followed by utilizing cognitive scientist Maya Shankar’s approach to transform your vague goals into specific daily tasks.

We’ll build upon these exercises in the days to come.

Task

Take your time answering the following questions, allocating at least 2 minutes for each response:

1. If you could choose only one thing to improve, what would it be?
2. What habits do you aspire to change, replace, or enhance in the medium to long term?
3. What subjects or skills would you like to delve deeper into in the medium to long term?
4. Describe your ideal future social life.
5. Detail the healthy leisure activities you envision engaging in.
6. Describe your ideal family situation.
7. Write about your dream career or job.
8. Describe your ideal personality in the future.

After completing the first eight questions, close your eyes and imagine your ideal future.

Then, open your eyes and begin writing a summary of your ideal future for 10–20 minutes. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or formatting; the goal is to capture your unfiltered thoughts.

Utilize the meditation techniques you’ve learned to allow your inner desires to flow freely without inhibition.

Day 18: Negative Vision

Theory

In addition to knowing what you should pursue, it’s important to understand what you want to avoid. This approach uses both reward and fear to motivate you effectively.

Task

Today’s task is to write about a future you would desperately want to avoid at all costs. Dedicate at least 15 minutes to this exercise, considering the following points:

1. Where do you absolutely not want to be in the future?
2. What consequences would arise if you completely abandoned your goals?
3. What would occur if you neglected self-improvement altogether?
4. Is there anyone whose life serves as an example of what you don’t want for yourself?
5. What past mistakes do you fervently wish to steer clear of in the future?
6. What would transpire if your negative habits spiraled out of control?
7. How would your life be affected if you didn’t work on improving your personality for the better?

Take your time to reflect on these questions and write down your thoughts in detail, capturing the vision of a future you’re determined to avoid.

Day 19: Approach-Oriented Goals

Theory

To make your vision more tangible and actionable, we’ll draw upon the research of cognitive scientist Maya Shankar to convert your vision into daily tasks.

Task

Let’s get started by going through Maya Shankar’s goal-setting tool. I’ll wait while you complete this step.

A few moments later…

Great! Now, with your positive and negative visions in mind, you’ll create 8 goals for yourself by following these steps:

1. Download a to-do list app: Select any to-do list app that allows you to add tasks and subtasks. Options include TickTick, Any.do, Google Tasks, Microsoft To-do, and Todoist.
   
2. List 8 things you’d like to avoid: On paper or digitally, list down the things you wish to avoid, keeping your visions in mind. You can refer to the details and examples provided in Maya Shankar’s tool.
   
3. Find the approach-oriented versions: While considering your vision, identify the approach-oriented versions of the things you’d like to avoid. Refer to the tool for more details and examples.
   
4. Prioritize your 8 goals: Rank your 8 goals based on their importance to you.
   
5. Specify the endpoint: Set clear endpoints or targets for each goal, using quantifiable numbers. You can find examples in the tool.
   
6. Make them time-bound: Establish reasonable yet challenging timelines for achieving each goal. The tool provides examples.
   
7. Derive daily tasks: Create daily tasks for each of your goals. You can refer to the tool for more details (I can’t copy the text here due to copyright restrictions).
   
8. Date your tasks: Assign short-term dates to your tasks, indicating when you plan to complete them, such as today, tomorrow, or next Tuesday.
   
9. Group smaller tasks: Ensure you have no more than 5 tasks per day to increase the likelihood of completing them. Group smaller tasks together, such as “Clean your shoes” and “Oil your hair.” For further guidance, you can go through the 14 rules I use to plan my day.
   
10. Repeat the process: Every night, repeat the process of deriving daily tasks from your goals, dating and grouping them, and then take action on them the following day, one task at a time.

Day 20: How to Quit Porn: Demoralization Strategy

Theory

How did the first day with your new planning system go, and how are you managing your cravings? I hope things are going well. Keep your focus on self-improvement.

It’s important to acknowledge that along this journey, you will face demoralizing moments and experience tough days.

Pursuing your goals can be more challenging than you initially expected. The process of achieving a goal is often more complex than simply thinking about it, as you’ll encounter environmental, social, and personal obstacles.

For instance, making changes can be unsettling for those close to you. It’s crucial to evaluate whether they will support or hinder your progress and how you plan to navigate such situations.

This is why you should prepare mentally and plan ahead by identifying potential obstacles, worst-case scenarios, and their corresponding solutions.

Task

For each of your goals, identify potential obstacles that could impede your progress on a daily or long-term basis. Once you’ve recognized these obstacles, create if-then plans to overcome them.

This preparation will make you better equipped to stay committed to your goals even in the face of challenges.

Here’s an example:

• Goal: Achieve a fitness target by increasing weight by 10% without exceeding a 2% increase in body fat levels before October 5.
  
• Daily Task: Go to the gym at 7 pm.
  
• Obstacle: Feeling tired after work and lacking the motivation to exercise.
  
• Potential Solution: If this happens, I’ll do a 20-minute workout at home.

Your obstacles can vary widely and may include scenarios like, “I might take rejection harshly and lose motivation to try again.”

Remember that a single goal can have multiple obstacles, so consider them all while developing your plans.

Day 21: How to quit Porn: Socialization

Theory

Understanding how screens dominate our lives is crucial to learning how to quit porn.

On average, people spend 44% of their waking hours looking at screens, and in some regions like South Africa, this figure soars to nearly 70%.

To combat this issue, we must strive to make our lives more focused on social interactions rather than digital consumption. The virtual world has a powerful hold on our attention, often overshadowing the real-world experiences that offer more meaningful connections.

Whether it’s quitting porn addiction or breaking free from social media addiction, the common culprit is our over-reliance on screens.

Our willpower alone is often insufficient to resist the allure of these digital platforms, as companies employ psychological strategies that exploit our primal instincts. As a result, we can unwittingly spend hours scrolling through our screens without realizing it.

However, we have the power to create resistance between ourselves and our devices while removing barriers between ourselves and the real world.

Task

Your tasks for today are as follows:

1. Deactivate your accounts or delete distracting apps from your phone. This can include any app, from games to social media platforms.
   
2. Turn off notifications for distracting apps on your phone and prevent your phone screen from lighting up with each notification.
   
3. Venture outside, either to spend time with your partner, or a friend, or strike up a conversation with a stranger. If you don’t have a friend or partner to engage in a fun activity with, focus on the latter option.
   
   Go outside and make an effort to interact with people, whether it’s engaging in conversations with workers, asking about economic matters, employment, or simply sharing a friendly joke with them.

Remember that the key to confidence is being okay with not always feeling confident. The consequences we fear are often less severe than we imagine.

By continually exposing your mind to evidence of this truth, you’ll become more comfortable in situations where confidence might be lacking.

The third task for today may seem daunting, but it’s a relatively simple exercise. I strongly recommend finding a setting where you’ll need to engage with others, such as a gym. This can be a game-changer for improving your social skills.

Day 22: How to Quit Porn: CET II

Theory

Welcome to another day of your cue exposure therapy. The journey to reclaiming your normal life hinges on developing normal reactions to everyday stimuli.

The triggers that have so much control over you need to lose their power for you to quit porn for good.

Task

As with the previous session, you’ll voluntarily expose yourself to a less intense external trigger.

The goal of CET is to extinguish your conditioned responses to cues related to porn. The cues you expose yourself to should incite some cravings, but they should not trigger overwhelming urges.

If you previously searched “beautiful women” on Google, this time, try searching for “attractive actresses” with safe mode turned on.

Remember: If the cravings become too intense, consider changing the images you’re viewing. You might simply type “women”.

Commit to this exercise for 5 minutes.

While doing this exercise, you can incorporate deep breathing and engage in self-talk. Remind yourself of the reality behind these photos, emphasizing that they are highly edited images of human beings created to manipulate your primal instincts. Real women are not like the images you see.

Day 23: Reframing Rejection

Theory

As you progress in your journey to overcome porn addiction for good, part of the goal might be to engage in a long-term relationship. Whether you are already in one or not, today’s focus is on reframing rejection.

Rejection from a woman can be demoralizing, as it may feel like a reflection of your inadequacy. However, if you adopt a growth mindset, rejection can act as a powerful motivator for self-improvement.

It’s also essential to realize that you don’t need to be perfect before putting yourself out there in the dating world. Valuable lessons for personal growth often emerge from long-term relationships.

Sometimes, it may require just one or two significant changes to become someone who appeals to certain women. Keep in mind that not all women have extremely high standards when choosing a partner.

The purpose of this advice is to encourage more interactions with women without being overly concerned about rejection.

Task

If you are currently in a relationship, dedicate more quality time to your partner today. Plan and schedule an activity to do together, and set a reminder for it.

If you are not in a relationship, plan an opportunity to engage in conversations with women.

Approach this to make new friends and alter your perception of women. Being in the “friend zone” with women can provide valuable insights and experiences, far more meaningful than spending your time scrolling through social media. Maintain a growth mindset where every interaction is seen as an opportunity for personal growth.

Consider joining institutions where you can interact with more women. Here are some options:

1. Art Classes/Groups
2. Co-Ed Sports Teams
3. Community Volunteer Events
4. Local/Small Concerts
5. Local Social Gathering Groups
6. Yoga Classes
7. Gym
8. Martial Arts Academy
9. Tuition
10. University
11. Online University with Meetups
12. Private Parties
13. Improv Nights
14. Public Speaking Groups
15. Conversation Groups
16. Church
17. Business Networking Events

Select a suitable place to join today. If you’re already a member of a co-ed gym, you can skip this task.

Day 24: How to quit Porn: Deep Work

Theory

When people start using to-do apps for the first time, they often find satisfaction in simply checking off tasks. However, the true purpose of to-do apps is to serve as reminders and help maintain structure in your work life.

When you’re engaged in genuinely important tasks, you may find yourself working for several hours a day. In some scenarios, completing 10 tasks can take as little as 30 minutes, while in other cases, just two tasks can demand more than 6 hours of focused effort.

This deep work, where you delve into a task with full concentration, is where real progress is made.

So, how does this relate to your journey to stop watching porn?

First, you’ve already reframed your addiction and now recognize it as a symptom of a larger issue.

Second, staying busy and engaged in meaningful tasks is a highly recommended strategy by former porn addicts.

Task

You have a planning system in which you can have a maximum of 5 daily tasks. If those tasks are meaningful, they will demand a certain amount of uninterrupted work.

When you start working on a task, set a timer using a Pomodoro app, but this time, set the timer for 60 or 90 minutes. Dedicate that time to working on the task without allowing any distractions to interrupt your concentration.

I recommend using an app like Forest, which not only helps you stay focused but also tracks your “working hours.” At the end of the day, you can review how much time you’ve spent working. You can also use TickTick for this purpose.

If you struggle to find a task that warrants 90 minutes of focused work, it might be an indication that you’re focusing on the wrong things.

I recommend reading the 14 rules I use to plan my day to gain a better understanding of how to improve your productivity.

Day 25: How to Quit Porn: Interaction

Theory

On Day 23, you were encouraged to join a place where you could engage in meaningful interactions with women. Today, we move to the next step.

It’s essential to recognize that the number of single men in the U.S. actively seeking dates or relationships has been on the decline since 2019.

Porn plays a role in this trend by providing a shallow substitute for genuine connections.

You don’t just have to stop watching porn; you also need to become the person who doesn’t watch porn. This is important for deep change. I’m sure you can envision this individual actively interacting with women regularly.

Task

At the location you’ve chosen to meet new people, initiate a conversation or interaction with a woman to complete today’s challenge.

You could ask her to teach you something or simply engage in small talk, which often leads to deeper conversations beyond the weather.

I highly recommend maintaining honesty throughout all your interactions, striving for 100% honesty when possible. Your job isn’t to impress people but to understand them and use the clues they provide to improve yourself. Impressing them can be a byproduct.

Even if you fail at interacting, maintain the intention to try. Keep the growth mindset in your mind.

If you are already in a relationship and not single, your task for the day is to go on a date with your partner.

Day 26: How to Quit Porn: CET III

Theory

If you’ve gone without seeing porn for a while and then suddenly come across things that tempt you, you might slip back into it. To make these temptations less strong, there’s no more effective approach than controlled exposure.

Task

Expose yourself to things that remind you of porn. You can do this by watching a movie with your friends (to prevent relapse) with scenes that may tempt you.

Or, you can just look at pictures of “beautiful women” for 5 minutes while engaging in self-talk, reminding yourself that these photos are highly edited and intended to manipulate your primal instincts. Real women are not like the images you see.

Day 27: Social Interaction II

Theory

It’s time for another chance to engage with women and girls in your chosen social setting. If you feel up to it, consider joining an additional social environment to interact with even more people.

If you find talking to people, especially women, a bit challenging, here are some tips inspired by the Charisma University course. Keep in mind that all your initial interactions should follow this sequence:

1. Start with Fun: Begin by adding an element of fun to your interaction. You can initiate a conversation with a lighthearted joke, a sarcastic comment, or an exaggerated story if someone asks a question. Alternatively, inject energy into your conversation by offering firm handshakes and speaking a bit louder than your usual tone. Skip this step if you’re naturally energetic.
   
   
2. Build Trust: Proceed to demonstrate that you can be trusted. Maintain open body language, avoid hiding your hands, and refrain from crossing your arms or putting your hands in your pockets. Act as if you’re entirely comfortable and move at a relaxed pace. Sharing a truthful or vulnerable aspect about yourself, like admitting you were fired from your job recently, can also quickly build trust.
   
   
3. Show Respect: Now focus on sharing your values, explaining why you do what you do, and what matters most to you. Concentrate on the “why” behind your actions rather than the “what.”
   
   
4. Demonstrate Authentic Interest: In the final stage, express genuine curiosity about the other person and listen actively. Ask thoughtful questions, including “why” questions, to encourage them to share their values and thoughts.

For more conversation tips, you can explore these 10 tips from conversation expert Vinh Giang.

Task

Today, make sure to engage with at least one woman in your selected social location. If you haven’t chosen one yet, it’s never too late to start.

As an additional challenge, consider finding a way to interact with women online. This step is optional but highly recommended as it expands your opportunities for social interaction.

Day 28: Replacing Online Fun

Theory

Just as I mentioned before, staying busy is one of the best ways to help someone learn how to quit porn. Let’s reframe staying busy from merely addressing the addiction to a way of building a better life.

You’ve already incorporated productive tasks into your daily routine to give your life structure and progress. But what about your life beyond work?

Sometimes, you should swap your “fun” online activities for enjoyable offline experiences. This will help you step away from the digital world while keeping yourself engaged.

Task

Replace one of your online “fun” activities with an offline one once today.

For instance, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “Finally finished making the prototype for Joseph, now let’s watch MKBHD’s latest Retro Tech video,” choose an alternative offline activity. Take your dog for a walk while savoring your favorite ice cream.

You might notice that the intensity of offline fun can’t quite match the online experience. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Make the offline activity more enjoyable. Think of ways to enhance it. Maybe invite a friend to join you on the dog walk or add a packet of chips to your ice cream indulgence (don’t make this a regular habit).
  
• Remember, the MKBHD Retro Tech video isn’t going anywhere. It will remain in your “subscribed” list indefinitely. Remind yourself that “MKBHD isn’t going anywhere.”
  
• It’s a good thing. If you’re accustomed to intense online fun sessions, you may benefit from a sort of “dopamine detox“. No need to explain the “whys” and “hows” since you have a grasp of dopamine.

Day 29: Making a New Friend

Theory

Overcoming porn addiction involves reconnecting with women as friends, as addiction can often alienate men from healthy social interactions.

You may have already started to befriend women at your newly joined institution. If not, it’s time to make an effort.

Task

Your task for today is to actively seek to befriend a woman. Here’s how:

1. Plan an activity outside your usual social setting (e.g., gym). This could be a casual outing, a hobby-related event, or any situation where you can engage in a friendly interaction.
   
2. If you find it challenging to approach a woman directly, consider joining a group or event where there are women involved. This can make the process of interaction more comfortable.
   
3. Alternatively, you can also go somewhere with a friend who has female friends, as this can create a natural context for meeting and getting to know women.

Remember, it’s okay to experience setbacks or initial failures in your attempts to make female friends. The important thing is to keep trying and don’t be discouraged by any unsuccessful attempts. Continue your efforts on other days as well. Building meaningful friendships takes time and persistence.

Day 30: Embracing a Better Life

Theory

Congratulations, you’ve quit porn for good. Wait, let me reframe it, since porn is just a symptom. Congratulations, you’ve figured out how to have a better life.

But your journey doesn’t end here; there are a few more things to know and do:

1. Understanding Your Brain: Porn can alter your brain’s structure due to neuroplasticity. People with problematic porn use (PPU) often have differences in the ventral striatum, a region associated with desire and dopamine. While the brain’s grey matter can start recovering after about three months of quitting porn, you will feel the positive effects of abstaining after just 30 days.
   
2. Quitting Porn Is a Lifestyle: The goal is not just to achieve a streak of not watching porn, but to make it a permanent lifestyle change. If, in the worst-case scenario, you end up watching porn again (which you should try your absolute best to avoid), it shouldn’t derail your progress. The mindset after a potential relapse shouldn’t be “Oh, I lost, let me get back to my old lifestyle”, it should be “One bad day in many, let’s get back to trying to have a better life”.

Task

Reflect on these 30 days. Write down everything you felt. Acknowledge the difficulty of going 30 days without porn, especially for those who have been consuming it for a long time.

Also, write your reasons for striving to go another 60 days without porn and ultimately eliminate it from your life. If you happen to relapse during this period, it’s essential to understand that you don’t go “back to zero”.

Relapse is not an excuse to return to porn, but an opportunity to reaffirm your commitment to building a better life.

That being said, try your best to avoid porn. If you watch porn again now, it will create a cycle. You’ll watch it, feel shameful and sad afterward, and then you’ll use porn as a coping mechanism, leading to more porn addiction.

If you still experience porn cravings, keep in mind that these will diminish as you achieve more success with women. Embrace a growth mindset, continue to engage with women, be judged by them, and keep improving yourself.

Conclusion

I hope you’ve found value in this course/challenge. If it has benefited you, kindly consider donating to me through this link, as creating this course requires a significant amount of time and effort.

I hope this course has helped you quit porn.

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